Surviving Your Wedding with Difficult Family Members (and Keeping Your Sanity!)

So you are planning your wedding. You finally got that beautiful ring, you're madly in love, you are pinning your life away on Pinterest, and now it is time to plan....

Disclaimer: The following blog is meant for entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to real-life events is purely coincidental (probably). I am not liable for anything said here that could be used as evidence in any family feuds, legal proceedings, or awkward Thanksgiving dinners.

Everything is dandelions and roses until your mom drops a bomb that Aunt Linda's neighbor, who you met one time at a 2016 4th of July block party, is invited and she isn't budging. You're already spending $150+ per person, plus they get a plus one? How are you going to let her down easy? Keep reading and maybe I can give you a few pointers.

Ah, weddings! The magical day where love is celebrated, champagne flows, and Grandma is feuding over the seating chart. Dealing with difficult family members is practically a rite of passage for a wedding. It’s like a real-life episode of Survivor, except instead of an island, you’re trapped in a sea of unsolicited opinions, DRAMATIC outbursts, and at least one relative who thinks you should have just eloped in Vegas.

But fear not! I’m here to guide you through this rollercoaster with humor, personal experience, and a few tried-and-true strategies for managing the chaos. There may or may not be some real life stories here...names have been changed to protect the identities of those involved.

The Overly Opinionated Mother-in-Law

Ah, the classic. She means well, bless her heart, but suddenly she’s taken on the role of Wedding CEO, making executive decisions on your behalf. My friend Lauren once had her future mother-in-law unilaterally change the wedding color scheme without telling her. Imagine walking into a reception expecting soft pastels and finding yourself in a nightclub-themed extravaganza. (Spoiler: Lucy is still married, but the mother-in-law is not on the Christmas card list.)

How to Handle It: Smile, nod, and use phrases like, “That’s such an interesting idea, I’ll think about it!” Then proceed with your original plan. If she gets too pushy, set gentle but firm boundaries. Remember, this is your day, not her second chance at planning a wedding.

The Bridesmaid Who Thinks She’s the Bride

Every bridal party has that one bridesmaid who’s been planning your wedding as if it’s her personal Super Bowl. She critiques your dress choice, your bachelorette party, and, for some reason, insists on performing an interpretive dance during the reception.

It's also the same bridesmaid that refuses to wear her hair up, "hates when anyone" does her makeup because she, "always hates how it turns out," and she insists on "doing her own." No, Veronica, you're not doing your makeup like your going clubbing in 2011 in San Francisco.

How to Handle It: Redirect her enthusiasm. Give her a task—maybe let her be in charge of organizing the bridal shower or crafting DIY centerpieces. If she’s getting too controlling, have a kind but direct conversation. And if she still refuses to cooperate? Well…that’s why backup bridesmaids exist.

The Uncle Who Thinks He’s a Stand-Up Comedian

You know him. The one who’s had a few too many drinks before the toast and suddenly thinks he’s hosting a Comedy Central special. He tells embarrassing childhood stories, makes awkward jokes about your new spouse, and inevitably brings up that one time you tried to run away from home at age six.

How to Handle It: Have a trusted family member or groomsman on standby to gently remove the microphone if things start going off the rails. You can also let your DJ or wedding planner know that speeches should be pre-approved (or at least time-limited—because no one needs a 20-minute monologue on your teenage years).

The Relative Who Drinks Too Much at the Open Bar

Nothing says “wedding” like at least one guest who overdoes it at the open bar. Whether it’s an uncle trying to breakdance, a tipsy aunt getting weepy during the first dance, or a groomsman who suddenly thinks he’s in Magic Mike, alcohol + family = potential disaster.

At my friend Mark’s wedding, his cousin literally fell into the wedding cake. It was like a slow-motion horror movie—everyone gasped as he stumbled forward, arms flailing, before landing face-first into three tiers of buttercream glory. (Thankfully, the caterer had a backup sheet cake.)

How to Handle It: Assign a “Drink Monitor” (a responsible friend or cousin who knows how to subtly intervene). Have a conversation with the bartender or have your wedding planner head the warning. Our Bartenders have no problem cutting people off (that's right Insurance man, we cut people off I promise!) Have your bartender limit hard liquor if things start getting out of hand. And maybe keep an extra cake in the kitchen…just in case.

The Relative Who Asks Why You Aren’t Inviting So-and-So

This one is inevitable. Someone will approach you with a wide-eyed look of betrayal, demanding to know why your third cousin twice removed (whom you haven’t seen since 2003) wasn’t invited.

How to Handle It: Blame the venue size. “Oh, we so wanted to invite them, but the venue only holds X number of guests!” Or, if you’re feeling bold, just tell them the truth: “We kept the guest list to those we’re truly close to.” If all else fails, excuse yourself to “check on the cake.”

The Parent Who Wants to Re-Live Their Wedding Through Yours

Some parents get very invested in your wedding, mostly because they see it as a do-over for whatever they didn’t get to have at theirs. My mom (who eloped) spent months trying to convince me that I needed a dramatic, floor-length cathedral veil—despite my wedding being on a beach.

How to Handle It: Let them have one thing they really care about (within reason). If they really want you to have a big band instead of a DJ, consider it. But when it comes to major decisions, stand firm. “Mom, I love you, but I will not be wearing a ballgown in the sand.”

The Cousin Who Uses Your Wedding as a Dating Service

Ah yes, the cousin who treats your wedding like their personal Tinder. They’re eyeing the bridesmaids, sliding into the best man’s DMs mid-reception, and somehow find a way to slow dance with at least five different people.

How to Handle It: Unless they’re causing actual drama, let them live their best life. Weddings are romantic! Just make sure they don’t corner anyone into an impromptu proposal.

Final Thoughts: Keeping Your Cool

At the end of the day, weddings are about celebrating love, laughter, and the occasional family chaos. You can’t control everything, but you can choose how you respond. When in doubt, take a deep breath, laugh it off, and remind yourself that one day, these will be the stories you tell with a glass of wine in hand while writing a blog about it.

Remember this: If you have a planner, they are there to mediate and be the bad guy! Let them! I have no problem telling mom the wedding in the rain must go on, or that Uncle Joe isn't allowed by the bar, or that your cousin's girlfriend can't wear white (I have plenty of nifty "Arcadia Academy Cinnamon Bun" shirts she can have). I am here to be your muscle, wherever you see fit.

And if you're still waiting to book, what are you waiting for?!?! Email me!

Cheers to surviving your wedding with sanity intact—and maybe even a few hilarious stories to tell!

<3 Chrystal

P.S.

I recently started blogging because I joined this amazing Facebook group with other locally owned and operated Wedding Venue Owners and I learned so much in my first two years there. In every blog I write, I will include 5 to 10 locally owned wedding venues who use their blogs to support other venue owners and the wedding industry in ways that are not always recognized, but also very essential. If you are searching for a wedding venue, please consider a locally owned and operated wedding venue! You can find a bunch on this wedding venue map.